[STORY] Two-third full

Saturday, April 24, 2010

The young clerk's responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every day. Each morning the judge was enraged that the coffee cup arrived two-thirds full. The clerk explained that he had to rush to get the coffee delivered while it was still hot, which caused him to spill much of it along the way.

None of the judge's yelling and insults produced a full cup of coffee, until he finally threatened to cut the clerk's pay by one-third if he continued to produce one-third less than the judge wanted. The next morning he was greeted with a cup of coffee that was full to the brim, and the next morning and the morning after that.

The judge couldn't resist gloating over his success and smugly complimented the clerk on his new technique. "Oh, there's not much to it," admitted the clerk happily, "I take some coffee in my mouth right outside the coffee room, and spit it back in when I get outside your office."

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[STORY] Dirty Jokes... (18SX)

1st Joke
Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. "Does your wife ever...well, you know...does she...well, let you do it doggie style?" asked one of the two.

"Well, not exactly," his friend replied,

"She's more into the trick dog aspect of it." "Oh, I see. Kinky stuff, huh?"

"Well, not exactly. Whenever I make a move, she's most likely to roll over and play dead."

Sure suami bangang dapat bini cam nie...: Bini dia jadi kayu balak jer ar masa tengah project tu... menerima jer apa yang hubby dia kasi...

2nd Joke
Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success.

Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan.

They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull.

They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume and began to give the moose love call.

Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, "Okay, let's get out and get him."

After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do?"

The guy in the front says, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass, but you'd better brace yourself."

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[STORY] Way To Heaven

A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store.

As he waited,he was approached by a man who asked 'son,can u tell me where the post office is ?'

The little boy replied 'Sure.Just go straight down this street a couple blocks and turn to your right'

The man thanked the boy kindly and said 'I'm the new pastor in town.I'd like for you to come to church on Sunday and I'll show you how to get to heaven '

The little boy replied with chuckle 'Auww..come on.You dont even know the way to the post office '

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[STORY] Lawak tok BATIN

Seorang Tok Batin di Bukit Ibam telah membeli sebuah motosikal terpakai. Seperti biasa motorsikal tersebut
tidak mempunyai mud-guard, side-mirror malah plate nombor.

Suatu hari Tok Batin ingin pergi ke Pekan. Dengan semangat yang berkobar-kobar Tok Batin mengunggang motor
kapcainya melalui denai yang berbengkang- bengkok. Tiba dipertengahan jalan ia telah ditahan oleh seorang anak
buahnya.

'Tok, tumpang ke Pekan'

' Boleh, naik di belakang' jawab Tok Batin sambil menunjuk ke belakang.

Sampai di suatu tempat , ada seorang anak buahnya lagi menahan Tok batin.

'Tok, boleh tumpang, kite nak ke Pekan ni'

'Apa salahnye, naiklah di belakang'

Motor pun sampailah ke jalan besar. Ada kira-kira lima kilometer lagi baru sampai ke Pekan. Tok Batin pun
memecut motorsikalnya dengan membawa dua orang anakbuahnya di belakang. Hembusan angin yang meniup tiga biji
kepala tanpa topi keledar itu membuat perjalanan mereka sangat mengasyikkan.

Tiba di kilometer dua, sekatan jalanraya sedang diadakan. Seorang polis trafik menghulur tangan menahan
mereka. Tok Batin dengan muka selamba memecut motornya dengan bertambah laju melepasi sekatan tersebut.

Melihat beberapa kesalahan yang dilakukan oleh Tok Batin,polis trafik terus mengejar beliau. Ia dapat memintas
Tok Batin. Tok Batin dengan serta merta memberek motorsikalnya.

'Oi ape ni, nak bunuh kite ke. Berhenti depan kite macam ni. Tenguk belakang kite ade due orang anak buah
kite. Kamu takpe le pakai topi keras, yang kite ni kepale togel, kalau jatuh tak ke kite mati.' Marah Tok
Batin.

'Pak Cik, kenapa bila saya tahan Pak Cik tak berhenti tadi'

'Oi, tak ade otak ke, belakang motor kite dah penuh dua, tak boleh tumpang lagi lerr... '

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[STORY] Lawak org Putih...

:: Taxi Driver and Passenger ::


A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."


:: La Vegas ::


A lady is having a bad day at the tables in Vegas. Down to her last $100, completely exasperated, she cries, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?" A gent next to her, trying to calm her down a bit, calmly suggests, "I don't know... Why don't you play your age?" He walks away. Moments later, his he is intrigued to hear a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe, she won! Rushing back to the table and pushing his way through the crowd, he is stunned to see the lady lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her.He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?" The operator replies, "I don't know, buddy.... She put all her money on 29. When 36 came up she fainted!"


:: Elmo pun ada ::


Tickle Me Elmo: There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM.The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule. The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's.She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs. The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena. "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday..."Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."

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Wong ah beng di pusat membeli belah...

Ini adalah wa punya pemerhatian terhadap perlakuan social yg seling boleh dilihat di pusat2 membeli belah di tanah ayer..

Awek cun + balak hensem
Ini couple rileks sahaja. Tiada menunjukkan public affection yang berlebihan. Olang lain pun sinang melihat meleka.

Awek cun + balak tak hensem
Kebanyakan awek ygcun mesti mendapat balak yang tidak hensem. Silapelhatikan balak itu,ada satu macam muka bangga sebab dia punya amoi cun. Kadang-kadang itubalak mesti pakai spec hitam mau kasik nampak sikit hensem. Bolehdiperhatikan juga, itu balak suka buat lawak talak kelaka mau kasiktambat hati aweknya itu (tapi itu awek jalang ketawa, cuma senyum manissahaja). Selalunya juga, balak itu mempunyai dompet yang tebal.


Awek tak cun + balak hensem
Lu boleh nampakitu awek mesti pegang kaw-kaw tangan balak dia yang hensem tamau kasiklepas. Wa pun tatau apa hat. Public affection yang terlampau2 juga akandilakukan oleh itu awek tersebut terhadap balaknya. Boleh diperhatikanjua kadang2 itu balak hensem pun ada sikit segan sama itu awek punyatingkatlaku. Lepas itu aa, kalau ada amoi cun lalu tepi, ini awek takcun mesti kasik jelingan maut terlhadap itu amoi cun. Selupa mau makanolang... Inseculity ploblem..

Awek tak cun + balak tak hensem
Ini couple talak sapa pedulik punya..no komen..

Group of girls + 1 guy
Selalunyaberlaku di kedai makan.. Seolang lelaki di kelilingi kawan-kawanpelempuan nya. Sungguh selonok kalau dapat mendengar perbualan meleka.Lu akan pelasan, sambil meleka makan, itu lelaki mesti cakap palingbanyak sambil buat lawak talak kelaka (tapi kawan2 pelempuannya mestiketawa jugak)

Awek cun berpakaian seksi
Akan lamai olangmelihat awek ini. Tetapi awek ini talak kisah sebab besar kemungkinandia sulah biasa mendapat pandangan seperti itu. Awek seksi ini sukamenunjukkan buah-buahan di dada nya, atau pusat nya di khalayak lamaikelana dia tau badan nya ada powah.. Seperti juga lu ada keleta cantikka lumah besar ka jam balu ka mesti kasik olang tengok, so bolehpelasaan ada happy. ini awek pun sebegitu jua.

Awek tak cun berpakaian seksi
Hoiyoooo inimanyak keji punya polumpuan. Lu balang talak cantik kasik tutup mahh,jangan bikin olang lain saakit mataa. Ini spesis juga suka menipu dilisendili dengan mengatakan "I wear sexy and I feel good" ataupun "I havethe right to wear anything I want"... Sememangnya meleka melasakanbahawa berpakaian seksi boleh menjadikan meleka jadi lagi lawa.. Watidak lasa begitu. Huduh akan tetap huduh. Tetapi jikalau huduh &sexy?? Tepuklah lu punya dada tanya selera ada lalu ka Tatau apa maucakap lagi woo..

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