[STORY] Application For Permission To Date My Daughter

Application For Permission To Date My Daughter

[size=-1]Note: [size=-1]Thisapplication will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by acomplete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medicalreport from your physician.

Name:		Date of Birth:
Height:	Weight:	IQ:	GPA:
Social Security Number:		Driver's License Number:
Boy Scout Rank:		Telephone:
Home Address:
City:	State:	Zip:

• Do you have one male and one female parent? ____
  If "No", explain:
• Number of years your parents have been married: ____
  Any brothers or sisters? ____
  Are they normal? ____
• Do you own or have access to a van? ____
  A truck with oversize tires? ____
  A waterbed? ____
• Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? ____
• Do you have a tattoo? ____
  
  If you have answered YES to #3, #4 or #5, discontinue application and leave immediately.
• In fifty words or less, what does Late mean to you?
• In fifty words or less, what does Don't touch my daughter mean to you?
• In fifty words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you?
• In fifty words or less, what does Real Pain mean to you?
• Church/Temple you attend: ____________________________
  
  How often do you attend: ____________________________
• When would be the best time to interview your mother, father and priest/rabbi? ____________________________
• Please fill in the blanks:
  • If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded would be my ____________________________
  • If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be my ____________________________
  • A woman's place is in the ____________________________
  • The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is ____________________________
  • When I meet a girl, the one thing I always notice about her first is ____________________________
    
    Note: If answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue and leavepremises - keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion isadvised
  
  
• What do you want to be if you grow up?

I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of myknowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment, tortureor mental abuse.
Signature of applicant _________________________________
Signature of father _____________________________________
Signature of mother ____________________________________
Signature of priest/rabbi ___________________________________
Signature of State Representative _________________________


Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine andnon-sexual. Please allow 4-6 years for processing. You will becontacted in writing if approved. If denied, please never apply again.Don't call me, I'll call you.